Diet Motivation
An online acquaintance has a couple of blogs, one of them is what you would normally expect - a journal with lots of interesting things to read. The other is a new venture - a weight blog. I'm not doing it justice by simplifying the actual content as she provides many interesting and informative items and links.

One of my comments on her blog is what is prompting this entry.....
I responded that I don't visit that blog often, maybe out of jealousy or because I feel distant from the other participants as I can't seem to find the motivation to follow through a health or weight program.

That is the real sad truth in some respects.
I lack motivation and have very little free time to devote to it.
My free time is spent on playing around with my sites. That's the bare-bones truth and I can't won't get into taking better care of myself. The other and more relevant reason is because I find people are less likely to adhere themselves to me when I "know it all". So I don't know it all - or at least work very hard at displaying myself as such.

At my worst I was 50 pounds overweight.
I am far from that now but have more excess girth to dispose of in the weeks or months to come.

Very early on in my blogging life, I merged this journal with my weight issues.....that would be months and months ago and yet, I post a stupid comment somewhere else, about lacking the motivation.

It's sad to have people in life or online, advise me regarding health and such. My current lack of enthusiasm does not reflect accurately my past studies I have grossly misrepresented my educational background and will forever regret going with the flow by responding off the cuff.

Yes, it's true....I have a background in health, nutrition and well being (among other things - with diplomas to prove it, if need be). Our own family physician doesn't even give us advice when the prognosis pertains to food and diet changes - or exercise and physical training. Any surgical procedures that need to be performed and you can bet I will be just as prepared as anyone in the operating room -doctors precluded (sometimes).

Our physician has known me since I was a silly, giggling 13 year old and I am the only person I know of (in my inner circle of friends and relatives) who is asked into the room when he has completed his examination of my husband or children. His response to (any and all, including) my husbands inquiry as to the solution for his cholesteral problem..." (HomeFlower) knows what to do!".

Sometimes "HomeFlower" doesn't want the added burden of figuring things out....sometimes "HomeFlower" is tired and wants someone else to take over.....sometimes "HomeFlower" doesn't want to be anything more than a regular, average person with a mediocre education and a mind full of unanswered questions.

Sometimes "HomeFlower" just wants to be a wife and mother....nothing more, nothing less.

How can I expect anyone to purchase my books if they know I'm in these blogs acting like a total air-head. Such hypocrisy could be detrimental to my future earnings and I would have been better advised to have more foresight before starting all this.

I'm angry at myself right now.
It's time to dig out the self esteem books and wipe away years of dust and cobwebs. Who would have guessed I would be so conflicted....the old adage may well fit this situation, "pysician heal thyself".