I'm having a huge problem with my urge to smoke. It's been 3 or 4 months since I quit and all of a sudden I'm getting serious urges to smoke again. I've tried tracing the beginning of these urges just to see how and where they started (again) and the only thing I can come up with is the new years eve celebration. The place wasn't smoke free and I think everyone there smoked at least an entire pack that night. The place was packed and there had to be at least 300 people there. I think I inhaled so much second hand smoke that it's making me want to smoke all over again.
I don't think that's an option anymore. I've gained so much weight since I quit I don't want to risk getting addicted to the stuff all over again. What a joke!!! Obviously I'm still addicted to it or it wouldn't be an issue. I feel terrible about my weight and need to get myself motivated enough to start some kind of weight loss program. I'm going to track my progress (MAYBE) in my blog and maybe inspire or be inspired by peoples comments.
Maybe not!!!
A short list of what I didn't want to be when I grew up:    

short    

fat    

old
Oops too late !

My son disappeared for a few hours tonight. Of course I didn't know for over an hour since he lives next door. So I called to ask him something and he's not there. I called his cell phone and he had it shut off. I hate it when he does that ! What the hell does he think the cell phone is for ? Maybe I'm a bit protective, but my God, there are so many strange things happening all the time and I'm always on edge in this city.
I wish I was back in the county. That's all I think about anymore it seems. I guess I'm finally realizing that my dream of living the country life out in the county, is becoming more a neccessity.
We never should've moved into the city.

Tomorrow is another day........a better day, I hope!